Life moves way too fast. It seems like just the other day I was in elementary school. You never know how long you have. From now on I'm not going to waste my time. I don't want to look back on my life with regrets and what if's. I feel like Iv been pretty selfish with the life I have been given. I need to realize that life is a gift and I need to not only make the best of it but appreciate it as well. If that means taking risks and going outside of my comfort zone, then from now on that's what I'm going to do. I know I don't have any conversations going or comments on my post. But Id like to encourage anyone to comment. Lets start a convo. I think it's great to see and experience other peoples views on life. If you knew you died tomorrow what would you do today?

So I'm really starting to wonder how some girls get in guys friend zones. I have been trying for years and still some of my very best friends still hit on me from time to time and its irritating. Yet I see other girls with guy friends that aren't interested in them. How do they do it????

Very excited for the football game today. Lots of tailgating and fun. Kind of worried there will be a guy Jee there. He is super sweet and flirts with me a lot. Its going to be hard to ignore him or tell him to stop flirting because I know it will hurt his feelings. Not to mention I have one of those "something bad is going to happen" feelings. Ever had one of those?...

So I'm really starting to realize lately that I am very far from the person I want to be. That is an extremely hard conclusion to come to because it means openly admitting to all the faults in my personality. It is usually easier to do as everyone else and rationalize all my mistakes and misdeeds until I feel that I have done the right thing. The worst thing that I honestly loath myself for is how I treat my oh so sweet boyfriend. I love him with every part of my soul. He is what every girl thinks of when she imagines the "Perfect Guy". I don't want to hurt him and I most definitely don't try to intentionally. However, I'm addicted to the attention that guys so willingly offer up. I know it sounds like im some middle school girl when I say I love the attention, but the simple fact is I do. I'm not embarrassed to admit that about myself because I know rather they admit it or not that most people enjoy being the center of attention too. However, my love of this attention leads me to lead guys on and flirt with them. I have even kissed a guy while dating my boyfriend Sean. I hate myself for it because I know I look at other girls who cheat and think how disgusting they are. Yet I am no better than them. The worst part is that I really do love him. I walk around with all this guilt. I'm going to try to start cutting out all my guy friends that want to date me. I'm honestly not sure how well it will go considering im a people pleaser and I know that the second one of them seems upset I'm going to be tempted to flirt with them to make them feel better. Wow when I write all of this down it really shows me how immature I have been this past year and how far I have let myself come from who I truly am. Am I the only one who has this problem. Am I alone in this?

Im going to start leaving my webcam on 24/7. It will constantly be streaming live in my room.

Life is strange how everyone is dying to express themselves and have the ability to live without having to hide themselves behind masks of what society wants us to be, yet everyone seems to continue to suppress each other. Therefore, I have decided that given the anonymity the internet provides, that right here will be the perfect place to easily express myself without any filters or fears.