So I'm really starting to realize lately that I am very far from the person I want to be. That is an extremely hard conclusion to come to because it means openly admitting to all the faults in my personality. It is usually easier to do as everyone else and rationalize all my mistakes and misdeeds until I feel that I have done the right thing. The worst thing that I honestly loath myself for is how I treat my oh so sweet boyfriend. I love him with every part of my soul. He is what every girl thinks of when she imagines the "Perfect Guy". I don't want to hurt him and I most definitely don't try to intentionally. However, I'm addicted to the attention that guys so willingly offer up. I know it sounds like im some middle school girl when I say I love the attention, but the simple fact is I do. I'm not embarrassed to admit that about myself because I know rather they admit it or not that most people enjoy being the center of attention too. However, my love of this attention leads me to lead guys on and flirt with them. I have even kissed a guy while dating my boyfriend Sean. I hate myself for it because I know I look at other girls who cheat and think how disgusting they are. Yet I am no better than them. The worst part is that I really do love him. I walk around with all this guilt. I'm going to try to start cutting out all my guy friends that want to date me. I'm honestly not sure how well it will go considering im a people pleaser and I know that the second one of them seems upset I'm going to be tempted to flirt with them to make them feel better. Wow when I write all of this down it really shows me how immature I have been this past year and how far I have let myself come from who I truly am. Am I the only one who has this problem. Am I alone in this?